where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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