too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
