well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
