Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
All the doctor said was why
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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