Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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