I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
