What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Drunk is not a location!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
