either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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