I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am available for nakedness
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