this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
it's like iHOP with fire
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
