My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
