at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
