Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm really busy with my period
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