I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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