Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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