The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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