My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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