I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
