please come you make the beer taste better
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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