so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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