Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
