THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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