On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
