i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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