You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
