her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
