her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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