if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
