Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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