I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
