Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
