maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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