Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
