I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
