Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
