dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
