I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
