this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
