Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i came on her dog
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize