but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
