We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
