Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
