ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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