your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
