He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You're like the curious george of whores
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
