So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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