and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
