i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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