The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
