You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Damn victory sex feels great
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
