just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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