There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
