I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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