So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
