Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
