I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
