We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have fence marks all over my body
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
