OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize