Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
