Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
